This photo of me, taken by my husband in 2015, speaks a thousand words…
We were in Wales for our yearly trip on our anniversary. We love the scenery of Snowdownia and the beautiful old castles that we find along the route. I can’t remember the name of the castle where this photo was taken, mostly because my mind was in a daze. Sadly it wasn’t a happy daze, but rather a time when I felt deeply miserable within myself.
This photo probably won’t show it as much, but at this stage I was 10kg lighter than I am now, pushing my body to it’s limits with excercise everyday. In fact, when this picture was taken, I was extremely tired mentally and physically. And I was deeply tormented over a situation in my life at that time which I tried to make sense off.
We thought taking this picture will show how I enjoy the picturesque views from the castle grounds and for months after I genuinely thought that this was a great shot. Then a few days ago I stumbled across it again and suddenly saw a very different picture to what I thought I was portraying.
To me now this photo shows hurt, depression, a broken spirit and a cry for help. Deep down I was very very sad and depressed and I felt alone. On the surface no-one would have known, until a much later time when I couldn’t hide my pain anymore.
I sometimes feel sad looking at this photo, to know just how broken I was at this point in my life, but equally looking back I have made a total life changing transition within myself.
In early 2016 I decided to have life coaching, mostly because I felt that my personal turmoils and low self esteem was affecting my ability to do my job and also my relationship with my employer and my team. I wanted to change to be a better person. Little did I know that I needed more than life coaching, so my life coach suggested we bring in cognitive behavioural therapy. This is where everything started to change for me and this is where I talk about these changes.
I hope that my journey will inspire you to take the next steps in your wellbeing.