People close to me will know about the incredibly difficult year I went through up until a few months ago. I had many issues that needed to be adressed, taken apart, analysed and put back together. I have always been the type of person that wanted to work on self improvement and I could manage changing my little ways myself before, but this time round I came to realise that I won’t be able to do this by myself…
What a lot of people don’t know about me is that I transitioned from an incredibly negative, angry, unhappy, over sensitive, full of nonsense person into a totally different person today, because I decided I wanted to change. I adressed my weaknesses and turned them into something good. I was doing well for a few years (or so I thought), but at the age of 33 I found myself going through a situation in my life which I have never encountered before, it never even crossed my mind that something like this would ever happen to someone like me, but it did. It made me angry at myself, but also at the people involved and I experienced a great deal of disgruntled feelings, resentment, even guilt, towards the people that got hurt in the process. It tore me up for a long time and I was slowly but surely declining into anxiety and depression. I was buried in a dark hole for more than a year and thank God I recognised that I needed to stop “drowning” myself before I completely give up on life.
This time in my life also surfaced a lot of negative things in my mind and my spirit. This is when I decided to seek professional help. I didn’t need psychiatric help or someone telling me I need to take medication for depression, I wanted to have a positive focus on changing how I see life and how I deal with situations and people in my life. I wanted to become happier within myself and change my whole outlook in life. So I went online and searched for a life coach to help me in my personal life but also in my career and so I came across the Life Coach Directory and found Alice Stapleton.
I didn’t seek help because of the situation, but rather because of the much bigger picture that caused this to occur in the first place – low self esteem. This was the first thing I needed to address. The life coach immediately recognised the signs of low self esteem and suggested that we also bring in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with the Life Coaching. For more info on this, please read https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
Going through my life I never realised just how much I was counting on people around me to make me feel good about myself. I would flourish at compliments by people I really liked or wanted to impress, but felt low when it wasn’t happening. I could never feel good about myself without having someone singing my praises. It was an up and down roller coaster of negatives with temporary positives. I never realised just how much it ruled my existence until I found myself in a number of conflicting situations. Equally, as much as the external voices would tell me great things about me, I also “rejected” the true compliments and affection the real people in my life had to give me, because it was easier to criticise myself. I found it difficult to believe that there are many wonderful things about me as a person and instead relied on hearing it from others.
Don’t get me wrong, despite all the sad, upsetting and even dissapointing things I went through, I can without a doubt say that it shook me into realignment with myself and the people I love and care about. My life coach did her part, but it took a lot from myself to be open minded and recognise the issues that I have created for myself all my life.
Changes within yourself does not come easy. It also doesn’t happen overnight. To even make that decision to change is bloody hard. And to stick at continuously implementing those changes are even harder! We all have a choice in this life – we can choose to believe that we are always right about everything or to become more open minded about our own flaws and shortcomings and be willing to change it. Sometimes our attitude needs to change, our thinking, our behaviour. Sometimes we have to stop being stubborn and full of it and instead reflect at the way we treat or feel about others by the way we feel about ourselves. We all can change if we are prepared to see the things that needs to change. Maybe today is the day to finally turn your negatives into positives by changing into a better version of yourself and reach the inner harmony that had been buried deep down for so long. Are you prepared to take that step?
You can find more information on Alice Stapleton via http://www.alicestapleton.com Her website has some really good posts and she is really lovely to work with. I am recommending her highly because she had helped me a great deal.
Disclaimer: I am not being paid for any recommendations I make and the information I provide it from my own personal experiences.
15 May 2016